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A Story from Melanie
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| Even though its been more than a month since you went away, you still come to mind at least once a day, the tears have finally stopped but my heart will cry forever. You were only 18, you still had lots to live for and I think you realized that in the end . That's what saddens me the most, the fact that this was your cry for help and it ended your life. You have the kinds of people that everyday that want to kill themselves and then you have the ones who don't really want to die and they're the ones taken from us. You said you were going to do so many things, I was so proud of you. You were about to graduate as a hair dresser, you then wanted to be a mechanic and a dancer. You were passionate about your dancing and you were amazing, you excelled and you even taught. You participated in many dance competitions and you always had something new in mind. You were very knowledgeable in many of the aspects of Automotive, I knew first hand because you were in my class, you had your hands in everything, at times it drove me nuts because I couldn't do anything, I admit it you knew a lot of things that I didn't know. Our friendship was over by the time prom came and even though I wouldn't admit it at the time you looked beautiful, I admit now that I was jealous. At your celebration of life there was many tear-streaked faces, my own included, all mourning the loss of a young soul, a best friend, a daughter, sister, a co-worker and many more. They had a slide show for you, there was a photo in there where you are dressed as tinkerbell and I just know that now your soul is free and that you have a real set of wings. They had footage from when your mom was pregnant with you and you could see how excited your parents were, they knew your name before you were born, there was more of you and your sister together when you were little, you guys looked so much alike, you were such a happy child. They had photos of you before prom, ill never forget the picture, its a profile photo with you looking into the distance with a slight smile on your beautiful face. The minister during the service said something that will always stick in my mind, "people that think about suicide only think of it a short time and then the feeling passes." I think that we've all honestly thought about this possibility as a way to heal ourselves from what ever pain we are feeling at the time. We will never know the whole truth behind the reason for your departure and we will never know what happened. You were an amazing person Ashley and I miss you, I could never think of our times together until now, we had so much in the few years that we were friends. I remember the greetings that I got each morning and between classes "Hey beautiful!" You were so happy, I just cant believe your gone, it isn't fair! The hardest part of it all was that I saw you exactly a week before your life ended, down at the waterfront in the early hours of the morning, June 18th. We didn't exchange "Hey beautiful" 's we didn't say anything, we only giggled sarcastic "oh my god" 's and that was the end of it. The day after I retuned from Seattle I was at work just started my lunch break and my phone rang, I didn't recognize the phone number but something told me to answer anyway "hi is this Melanie?" "yah, who's this?" "its Asia" "oh, what do you want?" "Are you still friends with Ashley Campbell?" "Not really, why?" "well I just thought I would call you and let you know that she passed away this weekend." That was pretty much the extent of our conversation. I then called my best friend Kayla and we cried together. She picked me up from work early that day, since she couldn't come to your funeral cuz she would be away we said our good-byes together even though I went to your funeral. We went and got two long stemmed yellow roses for the friendship we had and walked to the end of the pier and threw them into the water for you. We miss you. If I had known of any way that I could have stopped this, believe me I would have tried my hardest. So this is my final attempt at my good-bye. "Good-bye Beautiful" Ill miss you and love you forever my darlin.
~Melanie~ |
